


The Only Hope for Me Is You

by Aewin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (In a Canon Imperial Drone Threat Sense), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternian Empire, Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Developing Relationship, Dom/sub Undertones, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Fuck Or Die, M/M, Pailing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:53:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aewin/pseuds/Aewin
Summary: “Here’s what’s going to happen. I am going to fuck you quickly. We are going to fill this grubforsaken bucket together. We are going to leave this awful place. And then you are coming over to my hive and unless you have any objections, I am going to fuck you for real like I’ve been fantasizing about for sweeps. Sound good?”orKarkat and Sollux pretend to be matesprits for logistical reasons and get 'persuaded' by the empire to donate a pail. Buried feelings are brought to light in the process.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 17
Kudos: 110
Collections: Drone Season 2020





	The Only Hope for Me Is You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [toxicToxophilite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxicToxophilite/gifts).



> Bless you, giftee, for your amazing prompts. I am spiritually aligned with you on every single one of them, but I knew that if I tackled the helmsman one I probably would want to write so much that I couldn't get it done in a month. Thus I humbly offer this, the one that resonated with me most of the other options. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> A note on the 'Fuck or Die' tag for anyone concerned: it's canon-typical "fill a pail or else" scenario. Both boys offer enthusiastic consent after a feelings jam on the issue.

_Ding!_

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

Trollian screeches in your ear, multiple pings at once. Either the person is typing _very_ quickly, or the network was congested and let a backlogged round of messages through all at once. You lift your head off your desk and squint through your glasses at the grey text. Ah. Of course it would be _him_ to furiously wake you from a well-deserved nap.

CG: SOLLUX.  
CG: SOLLUX I JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM THE RECRUITMENT OFFICE.  
CG: YOU KNOW I WOULD RATHER LICK MY OWN SHAME GLOBES THAN ASK YOU FOR HELP BUT IN THIS CASE I DON’T THINK I HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS.  
CG: SOLLUX YOU BLISTERING BULGEFUCK I DON’T CARE HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOUR CODING IS, I AM GOING TO CEASE EXISTENCE IF YOU BRUSH ME OFF THIS TIME.  
CG: TRULY CEASE, FOR REAL, NOT JUST FOR FUNSIES.  
CG: SOLLUXANDER PLEASE.  
CG: YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT CAN HACK ME INTO THE EMPIRE’S SYSTEM.  
CG: HELP ME TROLL OBIWAN KENOBI, YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE.

You sigh. Right. You and your friends have started getting mandates to report to recruitment offices, now that you’re almost of-age to go offworld. Karkat’s blood color presents...difficulties in the process. Your psionics do too, but in a paranoid fit sweeps ago you’d built a psionic-suppressing implant that you’ll use before you go to the office. One way or another, they are _not_ taking you as a helmsman. You’ve got plenty of other useful skills, anyways.

TA: 2o, ii 2ee where youre coming from, ii really do. and iin a magnamiinou2 dii2play of friiend2hiip, ii would ab2olutely be wiilliing two help you out wiith that.  
TA: the problem ii2 that you are not the fiir2t per2on two have that iidea, and a2 a re2ult the recruiitment offiice2 arent connected two the maiin alterniian network. iit2 all iintranet all the tiime.  
TA: we would have two jack me iintwo the offiice2 network from wiithiin the buiildiing. and ii could only be there at the 2ame tiime iif we were a22iigned two the 2ame 2hiip.  
CG: GREAT. FINE. GOOD. LET’S DO THAT. JUST COME ON MY SHIP, I GUESS I COULD PUT UP WITH YOU TO SAVE MY LIFE.  
TA: wow, real fuckiing niice there KK, gue22 ii really ju2t rate that hiigh up in your books huh? glad two know iim right above the 2hiit you 2crape off your frondtrotter2 after a walk at the barkbea2t park.  
CG: I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, SOLLUX.  
TA: 2ure 2ounded liike iit two me.  
CG: LOOK, I’M JUST UPSET IN GENERAL RIGHT NOW AND IT TOOK YOU A WHILE TO RESPOND SO I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU TOO OKAY?  
CG: IF WE’RE STILL FRIENDS AFTER THAT MASSIVE FROND INHALATION OF MINE, I REALLY WOULD APPRECIATE HAVING YOU AROUND. YOU’RE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE I DON’T ACTIVELY GAG AT THE THOUGHT OF HANGING OUT WITH.

You pinch the bridge of your whiff protuberance, thinking hard. You definitely don’t mind the idea of being on the same ship as him, but it’s not like you get to choose your assignments.

TA: KK, ii would love two go on 2ollux and karkat2 excellent 2pace adventure wiith you, but there are thou2and2 of 2hiip2 iin the empiire, maybe miilliion2. we’re not goiing two be on the 2ame 2hiip.  
CG: JUST HACK THE ASSIGNMENTS.  
TA: what part of iintranet diid you not under2tand? the whole recruiitment 2y2tem ii2 off the griid.

You consider the problem for a second. Good old social engineering can get you into a lot of places like that, but if you’re found out, both of you could get killed. Maybe something slightly to the left of that? It’s not an optimal solution, and Karkat might not agree, but it’s the best you can think of right now. It twists your guts to suggest, but it’s all you’ve got.

TA: hey, KK.  
TA: would you 2ay your feeliing2 about me are more flu2h or pitch?  
CG: SDFJSLAJSDLJKSK  
CG: I ALWAYS SUSPECTED YOU HAD A THING FOR ME BUT IS NOW REALLY THE TIME TO EXTRACT YOUR HORNS FROM YOUR ANAL SPHINCTER ABOUT IT? FOCUS ON STAYING ALIVE, NOT WHATEVER ACROBATICS YOUR MUTANT GENITALS ARE UNDERGOING AT THE THOUGHT OF ALONE TIME WITH ME.

Your mutant genitals _have_ actually undergone plenty of shameful acrobatics while thinking of him, but he doesn’t need to know that.

TA: the only acrobatiic2 theyd do at that thought are two hiide, nubstaiin.  
TA: iif were quadranted theyll put u2 on the 2ame 2hiip, dumba22.  
CG: OH. ARE YOU SURE THAT’S NOT JUST A MOVIE TROPE?  
TA: nah, there are a bunch of datiing app2 de2iigned two get people a quadrant partner 2o they dont have two get on a 2hiip wiithout knowiing anybody there yet.  
CG: AND IT’S JUST PRETEND RIGHT?  
TA: of cour2e.  
CG: THEN I GUESS WE CAN DO THAT, YEAH. NOT LIKE ANYBODY’S KNOCKING DOWN MY DOOR BEGGING TO BE IN MY QUADRANTS ANYWAYS.  
TA: gee, wiith your charmiing per2onaliity, ii wonder why?  


In the end he decides to be faux matesprits “because he doesn’t want to make you look bad when he kicks your ass at everything,” which he assures you would be the case if you went black. You snort more than a little at that, considering the entire conversation consisted of him sacrificing his dignity to ask you to help with something he couldn’t do himself, but the two of you squabble enough that either quadrant is believable enough. You give it a few days onboard the ship before someone calls you on your bullshit lie, but at least at that point you’ll have hacked him past the hemoplacement test, and that’s the entire point of the endeavor anyways.

And if your (hypothetical) crush on him is confused by all of this, you will lock it in a (hypothetical) box and bury it in your subconscious where it has (hypothetically) stayed for years.

———

Unfortunately, nothing is ever easy. When the two of you show up to the recruitment office to submit your request to be assigned together, the bored-looking tealblood secreterrorist glances over the form, pops the bubble of gum she was blowing, and informs you that you’ll need to contribute a bucket of genetic material before they’ll approve the paired ship assignment.

_Crap_. This is...a new part of the process that you were entirely unaware of. And it’s not like you mind fucking Karkat, you’ve shamefully jerked off to the thought a few times, but he is much less likely to be okay with the concept.

You glance nervously at Karkat. He looks like he’s about to hyperventilate so hard he falls over, so you take it on yourself to speak, trying to remain casual so you don’t blow your cover.

“When do we need to turn it in?”

“You have twenty-four hours. Empress doesn’t want people leaving the building, else they could just get somebody else to do it, and then what’s the point of the extra security step?” She puts the form down and rummages around in the desk. “We’ve got pailing suites you can stay in, and they’re at least nicely appointed. We know it’s the first contribution for a lot of people going off-planet, and it’s easier to get a full pail if you’re relaxed.”

She pulls a set of keys out of the desk and gestures for you to follow her. Karkat doesn’t move, so you slip your hand in his and tug. It’s sweaty, and he grips it too hard, but he does follow.

The door she takes you to has some sort of timer built in, and when she opens it for you, she sets it to maximum.

“Twenty-four hours, boys. Any more than that and it’s not me that lets you out, it’s the drones.” She gives you a meaningful look, and you shiver and nod in affirmation.

You don’t get much of a look at the interior of the room once the door closes before Karkat pushes you flat against the door and all but burrows into your chest, his nubby horns tucked under your chin and his arms pulling you into a too-tight hug. He whispers something, but you can’t make it out.

“KK, I can’t hear you, my aural receptors aren’t in my tits.”

He turns his head. “Fuck you.”

“Yeah it looks like you’re gonna have to,” you wheeze.

He knees you halfheartedly in the shin before detaching himself from you. “You didn’t - you didn’t plan this, did you?”

You stop laughing. “Of course not, I may be an ass but I’d never take advantage of you. I didn’t know they were doing this now when I suggested the plan." You chew your lip for a moment, thinking. "I’m sorry, KK. I might be able to hack the door but I’m not sure what good it would do, our names were on that paperwork.”

For the first time, you look around the suite. There’s a pailing platform, and a double-wide recuperacoon. Pails are stacked neatly in a corner, and it appears to have an actual honest-to-the-empress self-service bar and meal block slightly partitioned off from the pailing area. There’s also another door or two; you can assume that at least one must lead to an ablution block.

It’s....actually really nice? The kind of place a highblood might stay when visiting someone in the city. You suppose highbloods might use this place too, that’s probably why it’s outfitted as nicely as it is in the first place. Maybe you can work with it.

Karkat is pacing and chewing at his nails. You lay a hand gently on his back, trying not to startle him.

“Hey. Let’s sit down.”

He nods, and you lead him to the nutritionblock’s table, then toss him a sodagrub from the thermal hull, grabbing one for yourself as well.

You take a deep breath. “Can you do this? And will you hate me for it?”

He snorts, nearly inhaling his drink in the process. “I have to. And no. It’s not your fault, not really. I asked for your help anyways.” A pause. “I just wanted my first time to be special. Or at least with someone that actually likes me.”

You can tell he regrets admitting it almost as soon as he says it, but you are nearly an offworld adult and you are _not_ going to seize this opportunity to tease him about it. It is time to, for the first time in your life, be blunt in a manner that does not make someone feel like shit.

“Karkat, I may not be romance novel material, but I have liked you for a very long time.”

“I meant as more than a friend, you bulgefondler.”

“What makes you think that’s not what I meant?” You can feel the heat rising in your face, but you very deliberately do not look at the table.

His face screws up in confusion and then passes between about fifteen other unnameable expressions before settling into a scowl.

“Bullshit.”

“It’s _not_ ,” you insist. “Ask AA once we’re out of here, she's dealt with it in more feelings jams than I care to count.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything!?”

You _do_ look down at the table at that. “We end so many conversations asking if we’re still even _friends_ , KK. I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“You didn’t think I’d be interested.”

“...yeah?”

He scoots his chair back so quickly that you worry he’ll fall out, but then he’s out of it and rounding the tiny table and rapidly approaching and…

...and then his mouth is on yours, and you’re gasping into it and trilling in the back of your throat because _what the fuck, what the fuck?_ You were _not_ expecting that.

He _chirrs_ back, a low croon in the back of his throat, and it sets off something primal in you that twists your bulges out of your sheath and makes your nook squelch with interest.

In the shameful wank sessions you’ve had while thinking about Karkat, you were always the one taking the lead. You figured he’d want to be the blushing protagonists from his romance novels, wooed and treated delicately.

He’s anything but. He’s downright _dominant_. He’s so aggressive with his kisses that he nearly topples the chair over, and you barely have the presence of mind to stop it from doing so.

Karkat is panting hard, his lips swollen and his cheeks flushed, an intense expression on his face. There’s a distinct wriggling in his pants. It’s hot as hell, and you try your hardest to etch the visual into your memory before breaking the silence.

“So what you’re saying is, you _don’t_ really mind.”

He barks out an incredulous laugh. “Sollux, get on the pailing platform.”

_Yes sir_ , you barely stop yourself from saying, but hightail it to the plush platform regardless. He’s not far behind, and drops a pail on the floor nearby.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. I am going to fuck you quickly. We are going to fill this grubforsaken bucket together. We are going to leave this awful place. And then you are coming over to my hive and unless you have any objections, I am going to fuck you for _real_ like I’ve been fantasizing about for sweeps. Sound good?”

You whimper only slightly pathetically and shimmy your pants off. “Why, KK, whatever happened to romance?”

“Friends to lovers is a classic romance trope, fuck you very much, and if we pull this off there will be plenty of time for you to take me on the fancy dates I so rightfully deserve.”

“Can I blow you in the bathroom of one of those fancy restaurants?” you ask, catching sight of his thick red bulge as his own pants come off. God, you want to taste it. You bet he tastes better than the food at one of those fancy overpriced restaurants you’re gonna have to take him to now.

He blushes again. “You’re such a fucking deviant. But why would I expect anything else? Turn over.”

Well, he didn’t say _no_.

After a bit of finagling he pulls you down to the foot of the platform with your ass up in the air, and you groan into the plush mattress as he licks into your nook. You can hear him kick the bucket so it’s between his legs, and it finally hits you that you are about to donate genetic material with Karkat, who you are _actually_ quadranted with for realsies. Hell to the yes.

You almost whine when he pulls away, but his tongue is quickly replaced by the thick tip of his bulge, and god, he feels so fucking divine sliding into you and opening you up. He’s not as long as you are, but it’s plenty of length to wriggle back and stroke against your shame globes. Your knees nearly buckle the first time he reaches them.

“Fuck, KK. That feels incredible.”

“Yeah? You like it when I’m inside of you?”

“I do, fuck, I can’t wait to show you what it’s like, it’s so...so _incredible_ , you’re so much deeper than fingers can go.” Your nook squelches as he fucks deeper into it, his hips flush against your ass. “You can _hear_ how wet you’re making me, for fuck’s sake.”

“It’s obscene. _You’re_ obscene.” He reaches around to grab your bulges, which wrap around his hand eagerly like they’re greeting an old friend. “I kind of like it.”

And then he _squeezes_ your bulges, and you nearly black out from pleasure. You're basically just rubbing your face in a puddle of your own drool at this point.

From there, it’s a too-fast blur. The platform is low enough that he’s able to bend over your back and mouth at your neck, which sends shivers up your spine that aren’t entirely far off from the feeling of using psionics. It’s nice to know that even if you have to keep yours dampened, he’s able to bring that feeling back for you.

You soon fall into a rhythm; he thrusts into you and his bulge brushes your shame globes, which makes you see stars. As he pulls out he strokes your bulges, and the constant push-pull of the rhythm builds a frenzied heat in your gut that pushes you towards your peak.

“KK, I’m not gonna last- “

“ _Nnnghh._ ” He pulls out of you and his hand leaves your bulges and you think ‘ _oh, I shouldn’t have said anything_ ’ until you hear the metallic spattering of his material splashing into the bucket between his feet. 

Something feral goes off in you at the sound and you flip yourself over and sit up just in time to aim your bulges at the bucket before the coil of tension in your gut snaps sends you spraying your material into it as well.

You fall back on the platform, wrung dry both physically and mentally. When your thinkpan finally starts knitting itself back together what feels like eons later, Karkat is beside you, his head on your chest again, tracing idle patterns on your skin.

You grin, perhaps a little manically. “I am gonna eat you out _so hard_.” Hmm, that wasn’t what you’d meant to say. You’re still a little fuckbrained.

He snorts into your chest and doesn’t even try to push you off, which speaks volumes about how much your relationship has just progressed. But he does hesitate for a moment before running his hand down your cheek.

“Are we gonna be okay?”

“Well we’re sure as hell still friends, if that’s what you mean. And I’m not in the habit of sleeping with people I don’t give a shit about, so I’d hazard a guess that we’re okay there too.” You shift to look into his eyes very seriously. “I give a shit about you, KK. I give _so_ many shits.”

He _does_ push you off after laughing at that one. But he _also_ takes you home and rails you again later that night as previously promised, and you fall asleep on his couch together while watching shitty romcoms, so you think that yeah, you’ll probably be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> You can visit me on tumblr at [solluxisms.tumblr.com](https://solluxisms.tumblr.com/) if you'd like, though nowadays it's mostly memes and posts about real-life things instead of Homestuck. However, anything that is _not_ Homestuck is tagged #nothomestuck, so it's perfectly viable to simply block that and only enjoy the Homestuck, if you so desire!


End file.
